Submissive - Who Me?

As you can tell from my last post, I'm exploring my submissive side. My new friend, the Dom, suggested that I read The Story of O. He also sent me links to a couple of websites. I immediately started reading the websites and picked up the book the next day. It didn't take long for me to realize that I am submissive and always have been.

Wait...this requires a little back story.

My husband knows about Reginald. He has known about him from Day One, a little over a year ago when we ran into each other and were texting just to catch up on old times. In the last year, Hubby has constantly flipped-flopped over me seeing Reginald. He has gone from no face-to-face contact, to anything except intercourse, to intercourse is okay, to no contact whatsoever, to we're open so do what you want. Confusing, right? Well, imagine what it's like for me!

The current situation is that we are open so technically I can see anyone I want. The problem, however, lies in that Hubby REALLY dislikes Reginald. I came to realize this a little while ago, but never could figure out why (and Hubby couldn't explain it either). Recently though, Hubby said it was because he seems to have some kind of hold on me, that I can't give him up. This is true, but like Hubby, I didn't really understand why.

OK, fast forward to now...
Reginald and I have a D/s relationship and I thrive on that. I used to have that type of relationship with Hubby, but somewhere along the way we lost it. He became indecisive and unsure, not good qualities in the dominant person. Reginald just happened to come along at the right time with the right amount of restrictions. I'm eager to please him...to not overstep my boundaries. Sex, even anal, feels natural and passionate because of the mental foreplay we have done beforehand. I never stay at Reginald's after we have sex. I have never seen his bedroom. We always have sex in the den or one of the extra bedrooms or outdoors on the deck. I love taking direction from him. Hearing the pleasure in his voice when I do as I'm told. Anything he asks (like his recent request to tie me up), I agree to without hesitation because I want to bring him joy.

He sent me a text this morning inquiring about my Christmas. After we had finished the pleasantries, I told him that I think we have a D/s relationship. He was shocked. I went on to explain why I thought so. Of course, he had never looked at it that way. But, it is what it is.

The dilemma lies with Hubby now. I would love for him to be the dominant man that he was in the past. He says that he is willing to try, so we'll see. For now, Reginald is that person. He give me what I need to be happy. He allows me to please him and rewards me with his satisfaction. I thrive on that and cannot give that up....not yet anyway.

I am a submissive...I always have been and I am sure that I always will be.

Cyber Dominance

Erotica Comments

I consider myself to be fairly submissive so I'm not sure why what happened surprises me, but it does.

A few weeks ago, I met a man online - nice enough guy. We exchanged emails and pics - nothing special. Recently, I came across a post he'd written on a message board I frequent. He was answering a question about dominant/submissive relationships...who knew about them, who was in one, etc. Come to find out, he's a Dom. Now, I already knew he was a singer and kinda figured he practiced polyamory, but the D/s thing was unexpected. Intrigued (and a little turned on), I had to reply. He had given a general explanation about the lifestyle, so I asked for some specifics. The banter went back and forth for a few posts until I mentioned something about me being married. He responded by saying that I would not be his first married submissive. Ummmm, ok.

My plan was to drop it right there, but I found myself deeply aroused at all the possibilities. So, I replied once again. This time to inquire if he had ever had a long distance sub. I was expecting his answer to be no. It wasn't. His response was that he had. I squirmed in my seat, heat rising from between my legs. I let him know that I was getting all tingly. "As it should be" was all he said.

I couldn't take it anymore. I started searching through my past emails looking for the pictures he'd sent me the night we met online. I sent an email telling him that he had me so hot that I was searching for the pics. He wrote back - "Ask for more...you know the drill...on your knees."

By this time, my pussy was throbbing...so, I asked for more. To which he simply said, "Good girl."

Now, I am a sucker for praise, so this just sent me right over the edge. I came...just a little, and of course, I had to let him know. I had to tell him what he'd made me do. He wasn't pleased. He declared, "I don't do little. Go rub your pussy properly."

Off to my bedroom I went. Lying across the bed, I put my hand inside my panties and stroked my clit. I slid my fingers inside my now dripping wet pussy. Gliding my fingers in and out, thumb on my clit, I made long smooth strokes until I came...juices dripping down my fingers.

I logged back on and let him know that I had done as I was told.

"Now go write about it online" was all I got back.

So, being the good girl that I am, I did just that.

I Want a Webcam

I recently joined an invite-only online group. It is for like-minded adults. It's nice to have somewhere to talk to people who think like I do...who do not pass judgment. There is just one problem though. Joining this group has opened up a whole new sex venue to me...webcams. Now, don't get me wrong, I knew about webcams. I've seen the porn sites that offer webcam viewing, but I've never really been interested. However, viewing someone who you "know"...that you've chatted with and emailed.. is a totally different thing. HOT!!! That's the word that instantly comes to mind.

So, now, I want a webcam. I want to put on my own show. The exhibitionist in me has been unleashed. Since it's after Christmas, I can't put it on my Christmas list, but it is definitely on the top of my To Buy in '09 list.

And, don't worry...I will be sure to share the details of those adventures with you as well.

Cold

It's cold and rainy outside. And I have a cold, so I'm inside. I'm all stuffy and blah.

Anybody wanna bring some chicken soup over?

Hopefully, I'll feel better tomorrow. Every year, I buy something to wear on Christmas Eve. Needless to say, by the time the toys have all been put out, Santa is a happy man.

So, you see I've got to get well. Can't disappoint Santa.

In case, I don't make it back before the 25th...

MERRY CHRISTMAS

HNT - Merry Christmas Baby

All wrapped up and tied with a bow.

I wasn't able to get a pic done in time to make it on

Merry Christmas and Happy HNT!!!

TMI Tuesday

1. What is the greatest age difference between between and a SO? Older or younger?
with a SO, only 2 years

2. What is the greatest age difference between between and any sexual partner? Older or younger?
18 years - I was 18. He was 36.

3. Have you started your holiday shopping? Is it done?
Yes and yes, unless I come across something that I think someone would really love.

4. What are the chances there will be a "naughty" present under the tree this year (either from you or for you)?
No naughty presents, but every year I buy "Mrs. Claus" lingerie that I put on on Christmas Eve after the kids have gone to sleep. Then, I seductively entice Santa while we put out the toys.

5. What is your favorite holiday song?
Santa Baby, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, and Another Lonely Christmas

Bonus (as in optional):Do you have a preferred time of day to have sex? If so, why?
I don't really have a preference. I'm game whenever.

Just a Phase?

Apparently, Jay agreed to opening the marriage because he thought I was going through a phase. He figured that I'd see a man or two and then things would go back to "normal"...just me and him. I'm not really sure where he got that idea because I definitely did not tell him that.

I'm not sure where this is headed. He's obviously not happy with the arrangement and has stated that he cannot have an open marriage on a long-term basis. Personally, I think that is very unfair. It's like dangling a carrot in front of a horse. I've been given a dose of freedom only to have it taken back. Not to mention, Jay doesn't do everything I like sexually.

The good news is that nothing has changed for now. Maybe he'll even change his mind.

Confession

I love to suck Reginald's dick. I have never been one for swallowing (can't stand the taste), but with him I do. His sperm doesn't taste like anything and he lets me be in control. As he's about to cum, I take him all the way to the back of my throat. When I know that he has released all of his juices, I start sucking again...making long, forceful, hungry strokes. I used to stop right after he came, but for his birthday I gave him the blow job of his life. After he came, I kept sucking until he couldn't stand it anymore and had to push me away. He loved it! So, now I try to throw in a birthday blow job every now and then to remind him of why he likes me so much.

As a result, I have come to think of him whenever a particular song comes on. A few months ago, I asked him if he still listens to rap. When he said yes, I told him that every time I hear Lollipop by Lil Wayne, I think of him. He asked why and I told him he was "like a lollipop" and I love licking him and he always makes me juicy.

On a side note, way back in college I was once voted as having the best dick-sucking lips by a bunch of guys whose dicks I'd never sucked....LOL! What do you think?

HNT - The Girls Say Hi

Today's HNT pic requires a back story.

My FWB, Reginald is an old junior high/high school friend. We reconnected last year and, in addition to massive amounts of texting, I would frequently send him naughty pics. Well, this has been the norm for over a year now. When the mood strikes, I whip out my phone and snap a quick pic to send to Reginald. Until recently...

As I've said, my mojo has been all out of whack. Added to that, I recently got a new cell phone. I REALLY like my phone. I would LOVE my phone if the camera on it had a flash. Let me explain...my phone has ALL the bells and whistles I could ever ask for and then some. The one thing it doesn't have? A FREAKIN' FLASH!!! (What dimwit forgot that?) So, needless to say, my pics come out dark unless I'm outside or somewhere with A LOT of light. Now, I'm all for getting naked outdoors or in the car, but that's not always possible since I usually have kids with me. Thus, I have not been taking or sending very many pics.

Anyway, today Reginald sent me a text asking if I was on a pic strike. I had to laugh because it had just occurred to me last night that it's been a while since I've sent him a pic. I explained that Jay is home more now so whipping out the digital camera to take pics for another man would not go over well regardless of how open we may be. I also explained my no-flash-on-the-camera-phone dilemma. I have to admit though that I miss sending him pics. It is as much of a turn-on for me as it is for him. I always imagine him getting them while in a meeting or conference and struggling to hide his reaction.

So, I set out immediately to rectify this issue. I snuck in the bathroom, pulled up my shirt and my bra and snapped a pic of "the girls". I sent it to Reginald along with a message that said, "The girls say hi."

And now, to you dear reader....The Girls say "Hi".

Happy Everyone!

Be sure to check everyone else out and look for me on as well.

I'm Making a Comeback

I'm feeling frisky!!!

You can not imagine how much of a relief that is.

Jay and I had sex Monday night and I've been horny ever since. I had planned to stop by and see Reginald today. I went to yoga class today which somehow always reminds me of him, but he has never seen me in my yoga pants. So, I was looking forward to showing off my assets. Unfortunately, he's out of town. I sent him a text and he's asked that I please come by and show him next week.

That has definitely been added to my to-do list.

OK...It's Official

I HAVE LOST MY MOJO!!!

and I want it back.

There really is nothing else to say.

No Interest in Sex

I have been decidedly unsexy lately. I've been spending the last couple of weeks trying to ease Jay's fears about having an open marriage. Because of this, I've seriously curtailed any outside activity. At the same time, all of this talking has left me drained and uninterested in sex in general, even with Jay. I did have one spark the day after Thanksgiving. I had a major urge to fuck Reginald. I chocked this up to him being my stress reliever. Our sex is so passionate and primal that I am exhausted afterwards, whether it's a 5 minute quickie or a 2 -hour multi-orgasmic (for both of us) session. Unfortunately, he was away visiting family.

Jay and I did have sex. It was sensual and quiet (kids were home and awake). It was what I call "I Love You" sex - you know the sex you see in romantic movies. It was nice - nothing to complain about. I came and he came, but a few minutes afterwards I was ready to go again. I told Jay, but it didn't happen. Honestly, what I needed was to fuck Reginald, then come home and make love to Jay. Once is never enough and Jay is just not able to oblige. I love that man, but I need more.

Reginald did send me a text Friday asking how Thanksgiving went. Of course, I mentioned that I was horny. He said if he were home he'd help with my horniness. He'll be back tomorrow. Hopefully, I'll get a chance to go by and see him. Maybe I'll get my mojo back.

TMI Tuesday

1. When did you last use your cellular telephone as a flashlight?

I don't.

2. On a scale from 1-10, how comfy are you being naked?

Maybe an 8? It really depends on who else is around. Around men, I'm closer to a 9. Around women, I'm probably closer to a 7.

3. What is the longest you've ever been celibate after having lost your virginity?

Wait...people are celibate AFTER losing their virginity? Just kidding. Seriously, I lost my virginity when I was 13 (save the negative comments). That summer I told Reginald (yes, the one I'm fucking now...who was really just a good friend back then) that I thought I would stop having sex. His replied, "That's not going to happen. You've done it now. You're not going to stop." No truer words have ever been spoken. I have no idea what it's like to go without.

4. Have you ever had sex in a car? If yes, since you were a teenager?

Yes, I have. And yes, since I was a teenager. As a matter of fact, Jay and I had sex in the car yesterday at the end of our lunch date. I'm still writing that post.

5. When did you last use food or drink as medication?

I suffered from depression and though I'm on some really great anti-depressants right now, I still have some moody moments and some stressful ones to. I may have a drink, but most likely I eat something sweet. The last time would be Sunday. I ate carrot cake and a frozen fruit bar.

Bonus: Name three words that:

a) get you excited

Dick, Swallow (only when Reginald says it though), and Fuck

b) make you squirm

Horny, Lick, and ? (I'll have to think)

c) make you laugh

Sho-Nuff (had to be in my high school band to get it), Morning (in a really happy sing-songy voice - had to be on my girls only vacation to understand), ? (still thinking)

Happy Tuesday Everyone!!

24 Hours Later

There was a period when I hated being on top with Jay. It had nothing to do with him. It just didn't feel all that good. I'm not sure when that changed, but I like it again.

When I woke up Saturday. I playfully laid on top of Jay and kissed him...on his jaw, on his lips, on his neck, on his chest. I made my way down his body.

"Get him hard so you can ride," he said.

Always a stickler for following orders, I did just that.

12 Hours Later

I convinced Reginald to take an early lunch and meet me at his house. He met me at the door with one finger in from t of his mouth, shushing me immediately. I was intrigued and slightly turned on. I had ideas that this would be a "how quiet can you be?" session. We'd never done that before; mainly, because our sex is so intense that it's almost impossible not to be loud. Anyway, I was SO wrong. I took a closer look in his direction. In the other hand, he was waving his Blackberry. He was on a conference call! Thus, the need to be quiet. I had to giggle (silently, of course). I had promised him a blow job, so we made our way over to the couch. He unbuttoned his jeans and sat down. I wasn't sure how I was going to manage to quietly perform fellatio. With the phone on mute. I took his dick in my mouth, easing it to the back of my throat. I took him in and out of my mouth and hungrily sucked his balls. I wanted to swallow him whole. He grabbed my hair and softly said my name. Just as I was thinking this whole conference call/dick sucking session was going to work out really well, a question was asked; one which he had to answer. He stood up to get the phone which he lain on the arm of the couch. He quickly answered, ending the call. He looked my way and said, "Take off your pants." I did as I was told and bent over on front of the couch. He returned, positioned my knees on the couch and commenced to pounding my pussy as I came over and over. Abruptly, he pulled out and turned me over. He stood in front of me and raising my waist to meet him. He entered me as I came again. He pulled out and rubbed his dick across my clit, making me cum yet again. He entered me again. I looked up at him and said, "We are not supposed to be having sex. I just came over to give you a blow job." His response? "Do you want me to stop fucking you?" To which I replied, "NO!" and came AGAIN. He asked, "Did you cum?" I managed to pant a positive response. He pulled out and, holding my hand, pulled me to him. I eagerly took his dick in my mouth again. I wanted him to feel as good as I did. I wanted to feel his juices in my mouth. I was soon rewarded. He came. I could feel my mouth fill with liquid as I kept my mouth gripped around his shaft. I continued to perform my duties as he moaned and swayed. When I was certain he could take no more, I stopped. I quickly dressed and said goodbye. My task had been accomplished. Job well done.

Wanna Go Outside?

He was alone..outside, surrounded by the foggy mist of the night. I approached. He grabbed the front of my jeans and pulled me closer. I undid my button and pushed his hand inside my pants. I grabbed his head and brought his lips to mine, kissing him hungrily. Removing my hand from his head he placed it inside my panties, replacing his. I rubbed my clit as I continued to kiss him, leaning him against the back of his car.

Suddenly, I pulled away and walked to the front of the car. He followed. Leaning against the hood of his car, I pushed my pants down revealing my pussy. I turned away from him. Bending over the car, I brushed my round ass against his pants. I heard the familiar sound of his zipper. Reaching behind me, I grabbed his dick and began caressing his shaft. He spun me around and pushed me down to my knees. I took him in my mouth. I grabbed his ass and pushed his penis to the back of my throat. I sucked his balls as he moaned my name. Standing me up, he pulled one leg out of my jeans, and lifted me onto the hood of the car. As I continued massaging my clit, he plunged his fingers into my wet pussy...all the while stroking his manhood with his other hand. Then, it happened...my breathing quickened, my heart raced. Just as I was about to explode, I felt the warmth of his dick entering me. He fucked me hard with long, practiced strokes. I wrapped my legs around his waist and moved in rhythm. The intensity increased until my juices spilled out and covered his dick. Thoroughly spent, I climbed off the car, struggled to gain my composure as I pulled my pants back on. Having accomplished my goal, I told him good night and went back into the house.

I climbed into bed with a smile, completely satisfied. I'm not sure if any of the neighbors witnessed our lustful display, but if they did I hope they enjoyed the show. I sure did!

HNT - Entangled Part Deux

A few weeks ago, I posted a picture of Jay's friend and me all entangled. I thought I'd keep it going and post a continuation. Ah, the memories...

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!




I can also be found on ...check me out.

Open For Business...Think Again

I mentioned when I got back online that Jay had decided to give having an open marriage a try. I have come to learn that this was only a half-hearted try. He still has way too many issue with an open marriage for this to work. For some reason, despite my assurance to the contrary, he has it in his head that I NEED to start a new LIFE with others. I don't want a life with anyone else. I look at my adventures outside the marriage the same as I would a new hobby. If a friend wants to see me and it doesn't interfere with anything that Jay and I or the kids and I have planned, and I'm in the mood, then I'll go. My friends are not here to take the place of him or our life. They are here to enhance our lives. When I'm in the mood to be man-handled (which Jay doesn't really like to do), Reginald provides that release. I come home calm and relaxed because I have gotten out all of that aggression. When I just need to talk about Reginald or the new girl I met, I can text or call PD. Jay doesn't want any info on the other people in my life, so I can't come home and talk to him. PD is also good for mind-blowing cunnilingus (something Jay does, but PD does better). When I want the softness of a woman...well, I don't have a woman in my life right now, but obviously Jay can't give me that.

On the other hand, when I want to share my innermost feelings, when I want to make love and cuddle after, when I want to just sit and enjoy the meaningful silence and the closeness it brings, I turn to Jay. He is my world. I love him with all my heart. I can't imagine living my life with anyone else.

The funny thing is, since Jay gave the okay, I have only had sex once. I haven't even been in the same room with anyone else. I did way more before he gave the okay. Granted, I was sick during part of this time, but still. I have been trying to be very conscious of his feelings and not just run wild. I wanted him top feel secure in his decision. Obviously, that has backfired on me.

I've even tried to explain my feelings by relating it to his feelings when he had sex with other women in the past. (We have even had a FMF polyamorous relationship with him as the hinge in our V.) He response was that he now sees how that was wrong too. WTF?!? We have been open, at least on his end (and me with women), since we were dating. Now, because I have an interest in have a male FWB, it's suddenly wrong and takes away from our marriage.

So, now I face a dilemma. Do I continue with the open marriage knowing that Jay is not dealing well with the idea? Do I tell him that I've decided to just let the idea go? And, if so, do I truly let it go or do I cheat?

Sunshine has a lot of thinking to do.

To Do List

I sent this to PD one night while we were sending IMs back and forth. I thought I'd share it here.

To Do:
See me
Touch me
Feel me
Hold me
Taste me
Lick me
Fill me
Fuck me

Simple and to the point.

My Computer and I are Healthy Once Again

My computer and I have both been sick; thus, explaining my absence from blogland. Not sure what exactly was wrong with the computer, but I had a killer sinus infection. Hubby was very supportive (taking care of me and nursing me back to health). PD and Reginald were very understanding (no sex on the side for them). But...I woke up Friday morning with my hand in my panties - a sure sign that I'm feeling better.

In the meantime, Hubby agreed to being open. YAY!!!

So, tomorrow I will be back out there...healthy, happy, and open to all that comes my way.

In Memory of My Mom

I just started blogging this month, so I missed the Blogger Boobie-thon. I"ll definitely be participating next year! For this year though, I continued my tradition of walking in the local Race for the Cure. My mom succumbed to breast cancer last year. It has been really rough for me, but If nothing else I have learned that life is short. It is because of my mother's death that I was able to let go and be ME. I used to care what people would think and say if they knew the real me. I've always been a bad girl, but I fought for years to portray a good girl/monogamous wife image to my family, friends, and co-workers. There were so many things about me that I kept hidden from them, the least of which the fact that I'm bisexual. With my mother's death, I came to realize that I don't really care what people think. I needed to enjoy life and be honest about who I am. By no means do I walk around showing off my kinkiness, but I also no longer hide it. These days, you're just as likely to see me in the grocery store wearing khakis and a polo (being a true soccer mom) as you are to see me wearing a micro-mini sans panties and lowcut tee (being a true exhibitionist).

So, for my mom...I raised money. I walked and I enjoyed every minute of it.

Because of my mom...I can freely admit that I love being a horny, flirtatious, bisexual, open-minded SAHM! I express myself here and in real life everyday without concern about other people's judgements.

To my mom, I say THANKS!

Female Vampires

I just received this in a text message. I thought it was cute so I'm sharing.

If one drop of semen has more life than one drop of blood, then why don't female vampires suck dick?...Happy Halloween!

My reply? They can't suck dick because guys are too afraid of the fangs. Oh, the pain!!!

HNT - Entangled

This is from a recent encounter with one of Jay's female friends. I love the way that we're all tangled up together. You can just imagine what else went on that night. ;)

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!!!



To enjoy a more risque, visit The Other HNT

TMI Tuesday

1. Have you ever felt guilty or ashamed after a sexual experience?

Not initially, but later I did. My friends and I have an unwritten rule (their rule, not mine though I do try to stick to it) that we will not become involved with another friends ex. Well, back in college, after much drinking and a game of truth-or-dare I had sex with a friend's ex. Technically, he was my platonic friend WAY before he was her ex (We went to elementary school together). Anyway, I later learned that the two of them were seeing each other again and trying to work things out. Thus, the guilty feeling.

2. Did you ever own a fake ID?

No. I'm short and have always looked younger than I am. As evidenced in this post, people are always assuming I'm my teenage daughter's sister instead of her mother.

3. How often do you tell white lies? Is it with or without thinking?

Sometimes, usually with thought and usually to avoid explaining myself to my husband or the kids.

4. On a scale of 1-10, how well do you receive constructive criticism?

I'm probably a 5. I don't like criticism, constructive or otherwise. I always feel like the other person is belittling me even when they aren't.

5. Have you ever shaved your pubic hair?

Yes, have been for about 11 years now - since the first time I had sex with a woman.


Bonus: What percentage of women do you think are capable of handling being in a "friends with benefits" relationship? How about men?

Not sure of the percentage, but I do believe men are better at it. Don't believe me, check out my first post. However, I think that there are some rare women, like me, out there who can do it with little drama. Now, if we're just talking casual sex without the friendship, then I think the number of women in that category would be slightly higher.

Stalling?

Jay informed me that he was considering my request for an open marriage about 2 weeks ago. Since then, he's asked a lot of questions and I've given a lot of answers. He's said that he is leaning toward the idea - just trying to work it out in his head - and that I need to be patient. He'll let me know when he gets there. Personally, I feel like we've covered all of the questions, some more than once. That doesn't mean that there won't be more, but I truly believe that they would be situational, meaning a particular thing happens and we need to contemplate all of the angles.

Honestly, I feel like Jay is stalling at this point. We've been semi-open for as long as we've known each other. He has always been able to be with other women. I have always been able to be with women. We have had threesomes, one foursome, and I've had oral encounters with men while he was in the next room. He allowed me to have sex with my Reginald, my FWB earlier this year. We've even had a polyamorous FMF relationship. The only thing he's really considering is whether or not he's ok with me seeing other men regularly. I know that he has his fears - fears I'll fall in love (possible, but also possible with a woman), fears I'll leave him (I might leave, but never for or because of someone else), fears I'll do things with the other man that I won't do with him (I'll do anything with Jay; however, it is possible that I'll enjoy something more with someone else). He wants to know NOTHING about the other men. He doesn't want to know their names, what we do, where we go, etc. which makes it even harder to understand his hesitance.

Anyway, at this point, I'm starting to wonder if it's just a ploy. I feel like he's just trying to wait things out to see if he can wear me down or change my mind. It's not going to change. I know what I want. I know how unhappy I was when he changed his mind about me seeing Reginald and I know how much I want this. So, I'm being patient. I'm letting him sort out his feelings and come to his own conclusion. I just wish he'd hurry up!

Why My Husband Rocks

I woke up horny. I decided to self-serve for a couple of reasons - Jay was still sleep and we would need to get up for church in a little while. As I rubbed my clit, Jay woke up and held me. Then, his hand slid down on top of mine. Then further still until he found the opening of my pussy and stuck his fingers in. In and out, harder and harder. His fingers in my pussy, my fingers on my clit until I came.

I rolled him over, kissed his neck, his chest, his stomach - down his body until I came to his dick. I opened my mouth and took him inside, easing the whole thing in my mouth. I sucked him dick, rolling my tongue all around it. I rubbed his balls. Then, I sucked them. I caressed his dick up and down while I took each ball in my mouth. Then I went back to his dick. I sucked it some more, lubing it well. I slowly kissed my way back up his body and sat on his dick. I rode him slow and I rode him fast. I came over and over. I held him close and he begged me to cum one more time, which I gladly and loudly did. He rolled me over on my back and made love to me with deep even strokes. My breathing became harder, the screams and moans became louder until we both achieved ultimate satisfaction.

We laid in each others arms enjoying the moment when there came a knock at the door. A little voice called out, "Are y'all ok? We heard some noise." Jay answered, "We were just playing around, wrestling. We're fine." And as the footsteps made their way down the hall, we couldn't help but giggle.

And I couldn't help but think, "I love this man. He totally rocks my world."

My Husband Rocks My World

I don't really have time right now to go into details. For now, let's just say that it involves great wake-up sex. I'll give more info later. In the meantime, I just want Jay to know that I love him...always have, always will. He is my number one and no one could ever take his place.

Drought

I was just sitting here trying to remember when I last had sex. I can't remember. I think it was Sunday or maybe Saturday. Either way, it's been WAY too long. My husband is still contemplating the whole open marriage thing so I'm trying to be a good girl. We have some other outside stressors in our life right now that are causing him to be not so interested at the moment. But, damn...I need some dick.

Meanwhile, I posted on Craiglist looking for a woman. I've gotten a couple of responses and will try to get in touch with them over the weekend if I have time. Hopefully, I can find someone soft to spend my free time with.

Mistaken 'Easy' Identity

When my teenage daughter and I are out together we are often mistaken for sisters. This happened a little while ago when we ventured out to view a local college she's interested in attending. My daughter approached one of the faculty members and when asked where her mother was she pointing across to the lady talking on her cell...me. When I finished my call and approached them, he asked, "You're really her mother? I thought you were her friend or maybe an older sister." I thanked him and assured him that I was indeed her mother. He proceeded to give us information about his department. We thanked him and moved on with our tour. However, that would not be the end of my encounters with College Guy. We finished our tour and headed to lunch only to run into...you guessed it, College Guy. He made a point of speaking to me and asking if I was being treated well. Then, after we finished eating and I was waiting on my daughter, College Guy appeared again. He had coincidentally finished eating at the same time. Once again, he made a point of making random chit chat.

Later that evening I was relaying these events to my cousin who has been struggling in the man department lately. She commented that I walk into a room and get hit on by a man and she can't get on to just call her back. I answered her by saying that I think I have an invisible sign on my back that says "EASY" and that's why men approach me. I kinda believe this. I think there is an air about me that gives the impression that I'll go there (wherever there may be).

So...the question now is do I dig out College Guy's business card and send him an email. Decisions, decisions

Opening Up

My husband and I have been talking about having opening up our marriage lately. My husband has always been able to do as he pleases. By that, I mean that he has always been able to pursue women as long as he informed me ahead of time. I think the freedom actually reigned him in some because he's only been with a handful of women and always with the intention of bringing her home for a threesome one day. I've always been able to have a woman on the side if I chose, but being shy I've only found a woman on my own once.

My husband is the love of my life. I can't see myself without him. We've been married for 10 years, together for 13. It's only been in the last few years that I've started to notice other men. Last year, I approached my husband about having sex with a male friend from high school whom I had recently reconnected with. The friend and I had been talking and texting for a few months and we really wanted to see what it would be like when our bodies finally came together. At first he said no. My friend could touch me, but no sex.

So, we played a lot. We had phone sex and text sex (didn't know there was such a thing before then). I'd occasionally stop by. He'd grab me by the hair as soon as I entered the house, toss me across the chair or up against the wall and touch me everywhere. Between the heavy breathing, he'd whisper in my ear and beg me to have sex with him. His hands would eventually find their way under my shirt, inside my pants. His fingers would stroke my pussy, sliding forcefully in and out. He'd turn me around and finger my ass all the while pushing his penis against my ass. And then, when I could stand it no more, I'd cum all over his hand.

This continued for a few months until one day my husband said we could have sex. the only condition was that he wanted to know nothing about what went on. I planned our meeting so it wouldn't conflict with my husband time. I was going out with some girlfriends anyway, so I asked my friend if I could stop by afterwards. The anticipation had been building up for months, so we both expected the sex to be great and it was. It was hot and steamy and passionate and we couldn't wait for the next time. Except the next time never came.

A few days later, my husband blew up. He couldn't take it, knowing that his wife had slept with another man. Though he had said it was OK, he was truly not ready for it to happen. So, fast forward to now...I would love to have an open marriage. Having that outlet available to me was wonderful. I was calmer and more loving towards my husband when my friend was in my life. Though my husband recognizes that, the idea of another man having sex with his wife still freaks him out. I can have sex with all the women in the world and he wouldn't care, but one man sends him into the stratosphere. Needless to say, I'm leery now. We've been talking and he still says he wouldn't want to know anything or meet any of the men. I'm just the opposite. I want to know about the women and I'd LOVE to hear the details because it would turn me on. I would love to be able to share things with him as well, but he's not interested. What scares me most is what happens if something slips out or what if I want to take him to a restaurant that one of my guy friends told me about. I'm just really confused right now.

I'd love to open up the marriage, but I have to ask myself at what cost am I willing to do that?

I'm on The Other HNT

OK, I just discovered this site late Wednesday night thanks to Southern Vixen. I submitted a pic and made it just under the wire. Care to guess which pic is me?

Yoga for Anal Sex, Who Knew?

I took my first yoga class recently. It was VERY relaxing, but there was a surprisingly sexual moment during the class. I recently had anal sex for the first time. It was with my husband and though it felt good it was also painful despite the combination of alcohol, desensitizing cream and lubricant. Same for the second time. I have since given up on doing it with him because it hurts. Even his finger in my ass hurts - not sure why.
However, my FWB kinda snuck up and put his dick in my ass one day. I had always headed him off saying that it was just not possible because it would hurt too bad. This time when I felt the tip of his dick lingering around my ass I, of course, said the same thing. He insisted I at least give him a try. If it hurt, he'd stop. He proceeded to slowly and gently enter me. He talked me through it, telling how to position my body, when to breath, etc. And guess what? Before long he was all the way in - no alcohol, no cream, and very little lubricant outside of what already comes on the condom. I was amazed. I enjoyed the whole experience. I wished I could have run home and told my husband all about it because I would LOVE to do it with him, but since I wasn't supposed to be seeing my FWB at the time, that idea was out. So, for now, my friend is the only one who I let enter my ass.

Back to yoga class today, we ended up in the Child Pose. As I'm positioning myself and the instructor is guiding our breathing, I suddenly get this warm, excited sensation throughout my body and I realize I'm in the same position my FWB put me in! If only he was in town today. He would have gotten a surprise treat for lunch. Oh well...

Needless to say yoga has taken on a whole new meaning and I will definitely be assuming the child pose again, both in class and out.

When Three's a Crowd

About a month ago, I meet a guy online and we hit it off instantly. We've seen each other in person 4 times but usually for no more than a few minutes at a time. Today was number 5. This time, we met for a strictly platonic reason and there was another person present which meant that we couldn't touch which was REALLY hard. What I really wanted was to throw the other person out of the room so the guy could pull off my jeans and panties and sit me on the table making me just the right height for him to sit in his chair and lick my pussy. Then I'd want him to grab my hair, turn me around, bend me over the table, and fuck me from behind. Alas, we were not alone so that could not happen, but a girl can dream, can't she?

Throbbing

When I'm horny my pussy throbs. It's like it has it's own little heartbeat. It's kinda cool, but at the same time it's extremely frustrating. I REALLY need to fuck.

Horny Anyone?

That person you see with her hand up jumping up and down...that's me. I'm home, so of course, I told my husband. He made some comment about really wanting to have a drink with me before having sex and went off to pour a glass of wine. That was 30 minutes ago. He hasn't been back yet. There's no way I can get any from anyone else tonight. I'm way too horny to self-serve. It would only frustrate me more. So, I guess I'll just go to bed...good night.

You Can't Handle the Truth

People want to hear the truth. They want to know how you really feel. They beg for you to give it to them straight. That is until you open your mouth and say something they don't like. Then suddenly you're mean or hurtful or unsympathetic or...well, you get the point.

I'm probably one of the most honest people you'll ever met. If you ask me a question, I'm going to answer. This usually works except when I'm in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with the person. They may say they want the truth but what they really want is for you to agree with them or to at most give them a light version of the truth. This really angers me because it leaves me having to sugar-coat my feelings or disregarding them all together so as not to hurt the other persons feelings. It's as unfair to me as it is to the other person. I feel bad for lying or depressed because my feelings aren't being heard and the other person has a false sense of reality.

I don't really have a solution to this issue, but I will leave you with this...If you don't want the truth, don't ask the question.

When Did You Become a Girl?

That may seem a strange question when you consider that I am female, have always been female and have no plans to not be female in the future. The question was asked by a male friend whom I've known for over two decades. It stemmed from me saying that I want to spend more time with my FWB (friend with benefits); that I wanted to go out for drinks once in a while and cuddle after sex. Now, that may sound like a perfectly normal request from someone of the female persuasion and it is. The reason it so shocked my friend was because I have always been a "hit it and go" kinda girl. I have been told on more than one occasion that I think like a guy. I see someone I think might be a good fuck, I fuck him or her, end of story. There really is no need for emotion for me. Thus, when I said to my friend (whom, if you haven't figured it out yet is the FWB) that I wanted to go out sometime and do something other than show up at his door, strip, fuck, and leave, he looked at me and asked, "When did you become a girl?" It floored me. I'm not sure if I've "become a girl" or if I'm developing some kind of feelings for my FWB beyond friendship or if I was just frustrated that day. I had been having problems with my husband that week. (Yes, I'm married. But we'll get to that another day.) My answer to him was that "I am a girl. I have always been a girl and on rare occasions I would like to be treated like a girl."

So, I start this blog today to sort out my girlness and my boyness and to just talk about life in general, like having a virtual therapist.