I talked to him for a few minutes Monday. He said that he missed me too. I told him I love him and he said that he loves me back. I know that there is no way for us to go back in time nor is there anyway that we can ever be together (at least not that I can see), but I can't help but hope. I hope that he really does think about me. I hope that he really is still in love with me. I have wishes as well. I wish that we could be together. I wish that I could lie in his arms. More than anything, I wish that we could just have some time together to talk.
I started another blog...just for me and him, hoping and wishing that one day we will get another chance. So Charles, if you're reading and you're interested, then click here and let me know.
After the phone sex this morning, I am now hornier than I was before it happened. I knew that would be the result. I can go a while without sex, but once I cum, I crave it....my pussy throbs, I cum out of the blue (at a red light, walking through the grocery store, cooking dinner). So, I'm restless as hell right now., but I'll be okay. Did I mention this morning was HOT? LOL!!! My Sir's reactions to me were awesome. I'm all about pleasing the person I'm with. So, if I feel like they are enjoying the moment it's SO much better for me. And, I loved listening to him...talking to me, calling me his little girl and his bitch, encouraging me to cum over and over and over again, him cumming on his end. The words were all a blur afterwards, but the feeling was best thing in the world.
Jay asked me the other day if I had talked to Melanie lately. I told him no and at some point in the conversation he said that he didn't think I really like women. It kinda caught me off guard (just because I wasn't expecting him to say that), but I told him that I don't like women. They get on my nerves. I like to fuck them, but I have no desire to talk to them or form a friendship. As I was telling him this, it hit me how true that is. Every woman that I have ever been with has been someone Jay knew first. I like it that way. The only one that I've had any kind of friendship with was the girlfriend and I think that was only because I thought she would be around as part of the family. Anyway, I plan on calling Melanie tomorrow, just to keep the lines of communication open.
Jay changed his mind the other day and told me to go on and see Reginald. I declined....just figured it would cause way too many issue. He asked me today if PD and I were starting back up (because we were talking on the phone). I told him that I didn't think we were. His response was...I hope not. When I asked why, he said he didn't want to talk about it. So, I just let it go.
Reginald asked me to come over tomorrow. So, I asked Jay if that was okay. Of course, that led to a whole conversation about why I even need to go over there. Somewhere in there he threw in that he knows I have (physical) needs, so I should just go and if he couldn't deal with it, I would just have to understand. Then, he brought up how things used to be about us and now they're not. (The same argument I have been giving him since he first decided to start his relationship with his girlfriend a couple of years ago.) To top all of that off, he started talking about how I do stuff with Reginald that I don't do with him.
Okay, now I'm a little pissed. No, I do not NEED to go see Reginald. I do feel like I should because when I do want to see him, unless he's out of town, he sees me. Jay says that he has a lot on his mind and I'm just adding to his issues. I told him that he needs to be honest then and tell me that he doesn't want me to see anyone because, like I've always said, the whole back-and-forth gets on my damn nerves.