Have you ever gotten to a point where you are tired of saying the same thing over and over? Well, I'm about there.
I went to new guy's job today. We'll call him Charles. I finally decided to let Saturday go. He had a sick child and while I still think that he was inconsiderate, I can see how calling me was not in the forefront of his mind. Besides, I am working on keeping my emotions in check so the event has kinda helped me with that. I'm more cautious about getting in too deep than I was before.
While I'd love to keep talking about Charles and his big, juicy, kissable lips, this entry is about something else. When I got home Jay asked about my day and how things went with Charles. I told him it was quite innocent, most of our time was spent talking. We then moved on to a trip I have to make this summer to attend a conference. While he really would like to go with me, it may not be feasible. He finally decides that he and the kids will not tag along since I will not have a lot of free time. He then adds, "And, you can't be meeting anyone else up there either." He goes on to say that he knows that's what I would immediately think to do (He's right.) and that after spending 4 days in a hotel room with another man he doesn't know if he could stay married to me. Huh? I had no words. I just looked at him...convinced that he was kidding. He then goes on to say how he feels like our whole situation will eventually leave him in a position where I don't have anything else left for him after I've given to all of my other men.
I had no reply. I'm tired of repeating myself, so I just stayed quiet. He went on to say that having other men in my life makes him not even feel like finding a woman. It depresses him and leaves him with no interests to pursue anyone of his own. Uh huh...again, no words from me. It's just getting real old. There is not much that I hate more than having to repeat myself over and over. So, today, I was just quiet. Inside though, I am screaming and pulling my hair out.
2 comments:
Is this a new thing for y'all? If it is, I can get why he wouldn't want you to spend 4 days in a hotel with someone else. I have been in an open marriage for 3 years, dated a LOT of men and I wouldn't be keen on spending that much time in a row even with a partner I'd been seeing for a while.
Sounds like Jay might be feeling a little threatened, which is not unusual in the beginning.
Just my 2 cents! Good luck!
xo~Sadie
Hi Sadie,
Is this new? Yes and no. We've been married for 10 years. Jay has always been able to see other women. He doesn't take advantage of this freedom very often though. However, he did have a girlfriend about a year and a half ago. That was the first time that emotions became involved and we went from open to polyamorous. While they were together, we came up with a schedule where he spent every other night at her place.
I have only been seeing other men for about a year and it's been on and off depending on how Jay is dealing with things. My frustration is not about the 4 nights in a hotel room. It's because I am constantly saying that no one come before him...no one will ever take his place. He acts like we have not been in this situation in reverse. He had no issues when it was him who was having feelings with someone else.
I can understand his hesitance at me taking someone else to the conference. I can respect that...no problem.
Thanks for your 2 cents, Sadie. It's always welcome.
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