Yesterday, I took down my post about Charles and today I received a text from him. It said, "Where's my blog go?"...LOL. I honestly didn't think he'd notice. None of the men I talk about read my blog, not even Jay. Apparently, Charles does...faithfully. He says that he uses it as a means to stay connected to me since we can't always be together. Well, ain't that sweet.
I don't know what to do with him. I really like him, but he's married. He's contemplated leaving his wife. His children are keeping him there. (His wife has no family ties here and could easily pack up the kids and move if they were to get a divorce.) Part of me would like for him to leave her because that would mean that he would be more available to me. The other part of me thinks that's crazy because I'm married myself and can't be there for him all the time. How can I ask that of him? But, when I want to hear his voice, I want to be able to call him and hear it or at the very least leave a message and not have to wait until he's at work for him to call me back.
I did have a few moments of guilt this weekend. I had sex in his bed!! What was I thinking? That is the bed that he shares with his wife. That wasn't right. If Jay brought someone to our home without my knowledge and had sex in our bed, I would be so hurt. I'm sure she would be as well if she ever found out. The thing is I can't honestly say that if the opportunity presented itself I wouldn't do it again. What does that say about me?
When I talked to him today, I told him that I do not know what to do with him. And, I don't. I don't know where this is going, but for now, I'm willing to stay on the ride.
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3 years ago
2 comments:
It's funny, I had a Charles, too. And every time I read about your Charles I think of my Charles, who I am, incidentally, trying to forget! ;)
Keep enjoying the ride!
xo~Sadie
I know. When I first started following your blog, he was still in the picture. Charles, of course, is not my guy's real name but when I was trying to think of a name for him that's the first name that popped in my head. The second thing was that Sadie had a Charles too. I tried to think if another name but nothing else really fits him. I hope that reading about my Charles doesn't make it too hard for you.
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