my Sir

Last week, I posted a picture of Charles, who refers to himself as 'My Baby'. So, today, I thought I'd let you have a peek at my Sir. Now, keep in mind, that I haven't even seen him in person. I do, however, possess numerous pictures of him. One of the first things that I noticed in his pictures was the intensity of his eyes. They seem to be staring into your soul (at least to me they do). I just love them.

I am the one you call after that other muthafucca you're giving pussy to
That same one that doesn’t eat pussy but cums once and bounces,
Leaving you still wanting and needing

I am the one that will make you remember why you were born a woman...
~my Sir

Sunshine in Need

I must have been putting out some strong vibes today because men kept popping up.

First, I fucked Reginald. Then, I had phone sex with my Sir. I returned home to Jay who apologized for something stupid (on his knees, no less). There was Charles who professed his love and assured me that he wasn't going anywhere. As night fell, I received an email from Ted who wanted to know where I've been hiding. Apparently, he's been missing me. And then there was Nate...

I've never talked about Nate. We met on a message board over the holidays. A group of us would chat for hours at a time, mostly about sex. Our sex chats eventually led to IM/web cam chats and more times than not the web cam shows starred Nate. He'd set a time and all of the women would tune in to see his dick tricks. I swear, he can make it twirl and whirl around. We'd encourage him with our words and be oh-so-satisfied when he would cum for us. That message board is now all but defunct. The holidays ended and everyone slowly returned to the real world. Some have disappeared altogether, but some have remained friends. There have even been quite a few sexual pairings to sprout from our time together. Of all the people, I'd lost touch with, I think I missed Nate the most. He used to call me his 'ride or die' because we clicked from day one. I once told him if we lived in the same city we'd be out chasing women together every weekend. So, it was a very pleasant surprise to see the IM from Nate pop up on my screen. It was an even bigger pleasure to see Nate's dick pop up on my screen. And, never being one to disappoint, I was honored with a private viewing to end my day.

In the words of Ice Cube...It was a Good Day.

The Return of Reginald

I had not seen Reginald in about 3 months so I was looking forward to today. I had been instructed to wear a dress or skirt with heels, no panties, and to arrive at 11 SHARP. I was a little late. As I was driving to his house, I received a text.

Reginald: It's 11:04

Me: I know. I had to stop to change clothes because somebody wanted me to wear a skirt and heels.

Reginald: OK...that shouldn't affect the time...u r not a good sub

I arrived at his house shortly after that. As soon as I walked through the door, he slapped me across the ass for being late. Pretty quickly, I was led to the bedroom. "Get on your knees."

I took his dick in my mouth. The familiar feel was exciting. Oh, how I'd missed him. "I want you to cum." I only need to be told once...done.

He pulled back and went to get a condom. "Bend over and grab your ankles."

He slid his dick into my pussy. I stood a little, bending the top of my body over the bed. "I'm going to fuck you in the ass." OK

Slowly he slid into my ass. "Does that hurt?" No..."Arch your back" Back arched. "Open your legs a little" Open.

Oh, how I've missed being fucked in the ass.

Our morning continued in this manner...bent over, standing up, sitting, lying down. In a number of different positions and places, we got reacquainted. "I would love to have sex with you ever day..."

It wasn't until after that I realized that I hadn't gotten the rough sex I was promised. There was no chocking or restraining, or even demanding tones. I wonder if that was done on purpose so that I'd be more eager to come back. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. If it was, there was no need. I always want to go back to Reginald.

Texting for Sex

Me: Hey

Reginald: Hey

Me: What r u doing?

Reginald: in (the same city 3 hours away that my Sir was in earlier this week...WTH?)

Me: When will you be back?

Reginald: Sunday

Me: You miss me?

Reginald: Of course

Me: Can I come over next week?

Reginald: Yes...r u allowed?

Me: I haven't asked yet. I miss you. I wanted to make sure you still wanted me first.

Reginald: Oh ok...u r wanted.

That was our text message from earlier tonight. I miss Reginald. I miss the simplicity of our meetings. I need to be fucked...choked...spanked. I need to swallow some cum, get dressed and take my ass home...no chit chat, no cuddling, just fuck and go. There is something to be said for mindless sex. Monday can't come soon enough.

The Call

My Sir called me this morning. We have been emailing, texting, and IMing for almost 4 months now. One of the very first things he told me was, "The first thing a submissive must learn is patience." Every time I have mentioned that I would like to hear his voice, he has replied by saying something like, "It's not time yet. When the time is right you will hear me." This week, he was 3 hours away from me, but his schedule was so packed that he did not get an opportunity to drive down to see me. He's back home now. When I awoke this morning, I sent my usual text.

Me: Good morning Sir

my Sir: Good morning baby...how are you? (The city he visited) was great and I meant to surprise you with a call but we stayed busy...

Me: I'm glad you enjoyed it. A call would have been a great surprise. Are you back home now?

my Sir: Yes I am. When you have a quiet moment, let me know.

Me: Now...everyone's still sleep.

And, then it happened...the phone rang. My Sir was calling me. I was excited and nervous all at the same time. I had been waiting for this moment for so long and now it was here. And, it was so wonderful. We talked just like we text. It was so natural. The excitement never left though. When I told him that I was excited, his response was to say that told him how wet I was. I let him know that I was wet from the moment I answered the phone. His voice is deep, like I expected. He asked why I thought it would be deep. I told him it had to be deep so that he could command all the women. He just laughed and said that a deep voice is not necessary. I asked if he could imagine women following around someone with Michael Jackson's voice. He laughed. I think he got my point.

I finally time to go wake the kids. He told me to go on and take care of the kids, that I could call him later. I can call him later? Really? It honestly never occurred to me that this would not be just a one-time thing. I never thought that I would be allowed to call him back. I was shocked. I made him repeat it.

I am such a happy woman right now. Jay's in a good mood, Charles's wife has stopped harassing me and (according to him) finally heard what he's been trying to say, and my Sir called me.

Now, I am off to enjoy the nice, warm weather and bask in my happiness.

HNT - I Wanna Ta Ta You Baby

My cellphone takes awful pictures. It doesn't have a flash so unless I am outside the pictures come out REALLY dark. Normally that's a pain, but for today's purposes it works. As I laid in Charles's arms last week, knowing that what we'd just done was so wrong, I felt so right. So right that I wanted a picture to remember the moment. Unfortunately, I had left my camera in the car (for the second time that day). So, I whipped out my phone and snapped a few shots of 'My Baby' and here he is.

I wanted to add this video, but the embedding feature was disabled by the poster, so you'll have to visit YouTube to see it...sorry.

I had this set to auto post before all the drama this week. I debated whether to let it go on and post or to put something else (or even nothing) up instead. I decided to let it stay as is.

Sad

The title says it all. Charles and I were IMing in Yahoo when he got ready to leave work.

Charles: I'm getting ready to leave. She's (the wife) calling me. I'll let you know where I'm staying.

Me: Call me

Charles: I will

Well, it's almost 10, so I think that I can safely assume that Charles went home. And, I'm sad about that. Last week, he told me that he loves me and that he wanted to spend the next 50 years with me. As crazy as that sounds, considering that I'm married, I planned on doing it. I planned on being there for Charles as much as I could for as long as I he allowed. When I told him how I felt about him, I meant it. When it comes to emotions I don't give myself easily. I love him and I want to be able to talk to him, to see him, to hold him, to make love to him. But, I know I can't...he's there and I'm here...and that makes me sad.

Fear of the Unknown

When Jay and I were going through our issues, there were dozens of times that I thought about leaving...even packed my bag (or had him pack his). But, it never lasted more than a day because I was terrified of what the next step would be. We were going through some things, we were arguing a lot, but in my heart I knew I loved my husband and I liked my life. My kids were happy. I was happy being a stay-at-home mom. If I left, I would have to go back to work. My degree is not in something that I care to go back to doing full-time so that was not a pleasurable thought. My kids are currently homeschooled so that would mean putting them back in public school, also not a pleasant idea. I felt the grass would most likely be brown on the other side. So, in the end, I stayed. Looking back, I'm glad that I did. As you know, it turned out that Jay was not totally responsible for his actions. It hasn't been an easy road since his diagnosis, but it is getting a lot better. So, much better that when I told him about Charles's wife knowing about me, he just said, "Okay. Is this going to be an issue?" After I answered no, that was it.

From the first paragraph, you may assume that this blog entry is about me...it's not. It's about Charles. Since his wife was unable to reach me by phone yesterday, she resorted to texting me. I won't get into what her texts said, but basically she wanted me to provide an "explanation". I simply replied and told her that whatever issues they have are between them and there is nothing that she and I need to discuss. She eventually got the message (I think) and after about 3 or 4 text, she gave up. Later when I talked to Charles, I asked him where he stayed last night. He had packed a bag before leaving home yesterday and was supposed to be staying at a hotel. Well, apparently, his wife called last night and said that her car was acting up, her cell phone was dead (probably from trying to call me all day) and she wasn't sure if she was going to make it home. So, he met her and followed her home. Because it was so late, he stayed. Can you say ploy?

Anyway, today, he said the same thing...he wasn't going back home. I didn't believe him. I didn't tell him that, but what I did tell him was that I think he doesn't want to leave. He admitted that doesn't want to leave his kids. But, I told him that I think it's deeper than that. I think that he has a fear of the unknown. As awful as it may be, he knows what his life will be like from day to day at home, but he has no idea what it would be like if he left. I completely understand that feeling. Unfortunately, that means that he will probably stay in a situation that makes him unhappy. Last week, when we were lying in bed, he asked me what he could give me. I told him that I didn't want him to give me anything. I wanted him to do something for me...I want him to be happy. I meant that.

Whether Charles stays or leaves, I want him to be happy. The one thing I do know is if he stays, our relationship has no choice but to change. Before, we were talking and texing daily. We saw each other, but his wife didn't know. Now, we would be trying to see each other/talk to each other/text each other knowing that his wife knows about our relationship and does not want it to continue. We would still have to hide and sneak like before (hopefully better), but it would be so much harder. She will constantly be snooping, looking for signs of his infidelity. That's no way to live. I love Charles, but I could not knowingly put him in that type of position. As painful as it would be, I would have to let him go.

TMI Tuesday

1. Marriage and children aside, what has been your greatest accomplishment in life?
Graduating from college...getting my undergrad and master's degrees

2. Aside from healthy and happy children, what is your greatest ambition for the future?
I have always wanted get my PhD.

3. If we were to enter your real name in a search engine, what would we find?
Let's see...a couple of articles that I wrote, my Facebook page, and information about a volunteer project I coordinate.

4. Who is the most famous person you ever met (not just in the same room as, but actually spoke with)?
I'm coming up with a blank right now. I have a famous uncle. I can't say who. That would give too big of a hint about my identity. Other than him, I can't think of anyone I've met and talked to.
Oh, wait...I just remembered. I've met and talked to Holly Robinson Peete.

5. Parents aside, who is your biggest hero?
I don't really have a hero per say. I do admire those people who live their lives as they see fit whether society approves or not. I think it takes a lot of guts to put your happiness above society's expectations. Very few people are able to do that.

6. Someone once worked out the sexual version of Six Degrees of Separation - Celebrity A slept with B, who slept with C, who slept with D, making as sort of connection between A and D. Are you connected to anyone famous through six or fewer bonks? I don't think so, but then I don't really follow who other people sleep with.

I Broke My Rules

The more I sit and think about my morning, the more I realize that I broke my own rules. I trusted Charles and I let my guard down. I still don't know how this story will end but I do know that I will be a lot more careful in the future.

The Wife Knows About Me

I sent Charles a text last night (not the first time I've sent one in the evening) and his wife saw it. I got a call last night from a number I didn't know. I never answer local numbers that I don't recognize. I figure if it's someone I know calling from a new or different number they'll leave a message and I'll call them back. No message was left. The first three digits were the same as his and I instantly thought it was her. I went on to bed and thought nothing of it. The calls started again this morning...6 total. They came way too early in the morning for me to even be thinking about answering the phone so again she was out of luck. In the midst of the phone calls from her, I received a text from Charles that said, "She has your #. Don't answer (her number) or mine." I hadn't planned on it anyway, but okay. Then I get a voicemail. Apparently, one of the calls had been from him. He confirms what I suspected...she saw the text. He went on to say that things are unstable with him and it best that we don't talk*. Okaaaay....

Since then, I've received 2 calls from her job. I didn't answer those either. I'm not sure how to feel about this. I'm not mad. I do wonder why a person who is cheating would leave their phone somewhere where their spouse would see it, but then again I was technically not supposed to be texting him at night (Even though, like I said I have in the past.). It does make me wonder if he might have left it out on purpose, even subconsciously. I may never know. I was sad when I heard his voicemail. I fought back the tears and didn't cry though. Things were never supposed to go this way. I was not supposed to have any feelings for him, but I do.

I'm sure some of you are wondering how I feel about the wife. I don't feel anything. I am a true believer that a person cheats after there are already problems in the marriage. If a marriage falls apart, then the cheating is a symptom, not a cause. Charles and his wife had problems before I came in the picture and even if I never see him again, they will continue to have problems. I do think that it is stupid for her to be calling me. Her issue is not with me, it's with him. Nothing she could say to me will change what's going on with them. So, she can call all she wants. I won't answer. And, if by chance I accidentally do one day, I will let her know that she needs to take up her argument with Charles, not me. I don't do drama...never have and I will not be starting today.

*I later learned that his wife had insisted that he call and leave me a message.

What Do I Do With Him?

Yesterday, I took down my post about Charles and today I received a text from him. It said, "Where's my blog go?"...LOL. I honestly didn't think he'd notice. None of the men I talk about read my blog, not even Jay. Apparently, Charles does...faithfully. He says that he uses it as a means to stay connected to me since we can't always be together. Well, ain't that sweet.

I don't know what to do with him. I really like him, but he's married. He's contemplated leaving his wife. His children are keeping him there. (His wife has no family ties here and could easily pack up the kids and move if they were to get a divorce.) Part of me would like for him to leave her because that would mean that he would be more available to me. The other part of me thinks that's crazy because I'm married myself and can't be there for him all the time. How can I ask that of him? But, when I want to hear his voice, I want to be able to call him and hear it or at the very least leave a message and not have to wait until he's at work for him to call me back.

I did have a few moments of guilt this weekend. I had sex in his bed!! What was I thinking? That is the bed that he shares with his wife. That wasn't right. If Jay brought someone to our home without my knowledge and had sex in our bed, I would be so hurt. I'm sure she would be as well if she ever found out. The thing is I can't honestly say that if the opportunity presented itself I wouldn't do it again. What does that say about me?

When I talked to him today, I told him that I do not know what to do with him. And, I don't. I don't know where this is going, but for now, I'm willing to stay on the ride.

Our First Time

I went to Charles's house today. All I can say is the dining room table will never look the same to me again. As I sat in the edge of the table, Charles sat in a chair in front of me, lifted my skirt and buried his head in my pussy. He licked and sucked and I came...over and over and over, gripping the table and the back of his head. I wanted so bad for him to fuck me right there on the table but I couldn't move from that spot. It felt too good. Eventually I did though. I climbed down and sat in his lap. And I kissed him. I love kissing him! And, I don't kiss anyone except Jay. It's such an intimate act, so full of feelings and emotions. But, I kiss Charles.

There I was, straddled across his lap kissing him, unbuttoning his sheet, rubbing my hands across the hair on his chest, sucking and biting his nipples. I unbuttoned his pants and made my way down to the floor. I took his dick in my mouth and sucked it. I wanted him so bad. CONDOMS!!! Yep, there were none. I had never replenished the supply I keep in my truck and he had none. So, we cut things short and headed out the door. I hadn't eaten so I stopped and got a burger then we headed to the drug store. He went in to buy condoms while I ate. Then, we headed back to his house.

He went upstairs while I finished eating. I found him in his bedroom. We undressed and I climbed on the bed. He proceeded to use his tongue again and once again I came. I wanted him inside me and he wanted me on top (forgot to tell him that is not my favorite position). He laid down and I climbed on and rode him...fast, slow, hard, and soft. We kept rhythm and time and came together. It was great, so great that we laid there in each others arms until he was soft...yep, we forgot about the condom which ended up in me when I rolled over. (Clean up on aisle 9...lol)

After a quick trip to the bathroom, we climbed back in bed and held each other and talked. He wanted to know what happens if Jay never fully accepts our relationship. I wanted to know what he was planning to do about his marriage. We talked about his friends and what they thought of us. We talked and talked. Then, we kissed and kissed and went in for round two...him on top, him from the back, whispered emotions, orgasmic moans and screams. And, when we finished, we laid in each others arms and talked some more.

I would have loved to stay there all day...in his arms, making love to him. But, reality called and so we had to end our rendezvous. We're already looking forward to the next one.

HNT - All Dressed Up & Nowhere to Go

About a month or so ago, Jay and I decided to visit our local BDSM dungeon. It was supposed to be a very small informal night. We figured we'd go then just to get a feel for the place when it wasn't crowded...see what all was there and whether we would be interested in going back on a busy night. So, we get dressed and head out. We get to the secret location, ring the doorbell...no answer. We knock on the door...no answer. We ring and knock a few more times, still no luck. So, we finally leave. At this point, I'm a little pouty. I was looking forward to going and if nothing else getting spanked. So, Jay turns the car around to try again. This time, he leaves me in the car. When he returns, he explains that the email I received was missing some information. Apparently, their is someone who works the door from 8-9pm. After that, you have to RSVP with your arrival time in order to get in. So, when we arrived at 11pm, no one was at the door, there were only 3 people inside and they were all involved in a scene so they couldn't come to the door. We did get to see pictures of the scene. They had tied on woman up with rope and suspended her from the ceiling. I would have loved to see it in person.

We ended up going to a crappy strip club that night and then home. Jay did spank me in the confines of our own bedroom and we promised to return to the dungeon on day. Our schedules have not allowed that yet, but I am looking forward to it.

Happy HNT!!! Be sure to check out everyone else and also visit .

I Hate Repeating Myself

Have you ever gotten to a point where you are tired of saying the same thing over and over? Well, I'm about there.

I went to new guy's job today. We'll call him Charles. I finally decided to let Saturday go. He had a sick child and while I still think that he was inconsiderate, I can see how calling me was not in the forefront of his mind. Besides, I am working on keeping my emotions in check so the event has kinda helped me with that. I'm more cautious about getting in too deep than I was before.

While I'd love to keep talking about Charles and his big, juicy, kissable lips, this entry is about something else. When I got home Jay asked about my day and how things went with Charles. I told him it was quite innocent, most of our time was spent talking. We then moved on to a trip I have to make this summer to attend a conference. While he really would like to go with me, it may not be feasible. He finally decides that he and the kids will not tag along since I will not have a lot of free time. He then adds, "And, you can't be meeting anyone else up there either." He goes on to say that he knows that's what I would immediately think to do (He's right.) and that after spending 4 days in a hotel room with another man he doesn't know if he could stay married to me. Huh? I had no words. I just looked at him...convinced that he was kidding. He then goes on to say how he feels like our whole situation will eventually leave him in a position where I don't have anything else left for him after I've given to all of my other men.

I had no reply. I'm tired of repeating myself, so I just stayed quiet. He went on to say that having other men in my life makes him not even feel like finding a woman. It depresses him and leaves him with no interests to pursue anyone of his own. Uh huh...again, no words from me. It's just getting real old. There is not much that I hate more than having to repeat myself over and over. So, today, I was just quiet. Inside though, I am screaming and pulling my hair out.

TMI Tuesday

1. Have you ever had a sexual experience with the opposite sex? Yes

2. When you see someone you like, how do you act, how do you get their attention? I'm actually very shay in person. I rarely try to get the attention of someone I don't know.

3. Dominate or dominated, which do you prefer? Dominated, though I do not have an issue with occasionally being the dominant one.

4. Would you/ Have you ever had a threesome? If you read my blog on a regular basis, then you already know the answer to this one. For those who don't...YES and I'm eagerly awaiting the next one that happens to come my way!

5. When was the last time you had sex? Saturday night/Sunday morning (It was "OMG, what did you just do to me 'cause I'm crying in a good way" sex. Haven't decided if I want to blog about it yet though.)

6. Sex on the first date...good or bad? Not good or bad...If two people are feeling each other like that , then I say go for it. If not,assuming there's a second date, there will be another chance.

7. Do you have any random or out of the ordinary turn ons? Maybe because Jay rarely helps out around the house, but watching a man cook and/or clean turns me on. Also, certain songs make me want to jump someone RIGHT NOW!

8. What attributes attract you to a potential partner. If we're talking relationship, then honesty, sincerity, drama-free, acceptance of me & my lifestyle. If we're just talking about a sexual partner, can he fuck well and not get too attached is really all I need to know.

Stood Up

I got stood up. In the 36 years that I have been alive, I have never been stood up. I have gotten last minute calls/emails/texts to say that the person was delayed or needed to reschedule, but I have never had anyone to just not show...until Saturday. I met a new guy online. We've talked and emailed and texted for about 3 weeks or so and hit it off pretty well. Saturday would have been our first time meeting face-to-face. I really excited. Jay was finally okay with me going out with another man. He told me to dress cute, have fun, and come back and tell him all about it. I was nervous because I haven't actually dated anyone since I was married, but I was also very excited. I liked this guy a lot. I had already warned him that I was hesitant about getting emotionally involved with a married and because I didn't want to fall for him only to realize he couldn't fall with me.
We'd arranged to meet at a jazz club/restaurant. I arrived, sent him a text to let him know I was there...no answer. After sending repeated texts and calling several times, I left. I sent Jay a text to let him know that I was headed back home. He told me to come hang out and have drinks with him instead. So, I head across town to where he was. As I was pulling in the parking lot, new guy sends me a text. So, as Jay and I are enjoying our drinks, I'm texting back and forth. New guy is down the street from the club at his friends and asks me to come there. At first, I say no...I'm hanging with jay now after all. But, I'm pissed and I need to get some things off my chest. I convince Jay that I need to go see new guy...just to tell him off...and I will be home in an hour. I head back across town to new guy's friends apartment and I lay into him. I explain that I am very understanding. I know my role. I understand things come up, kids get sick, wives (yes, he's married) throw a fit, etc., etc., etc. What I do not understand is inconsiderate people. I don't mind sharing a man, but I'm spoiled and I'm selfish with my time. When it is my time to be with you, it is my time. If something is going to keep you from giving me my time then at least have the decency to let me know. He didn't do that. As much as I wanted to stay and hang out with him, I couldn't. I couldn't start things off that way. If I did, he would feel like that was okay all the time and I know me. My feelings would get hurt and after the first couple of times, things would get real ugly, real fast. I'd just rather not go there.

I had planned to stop the story here, but I just got an IM from new guy. He feels that he needs to get his house in order. He doesn't think that he can give me the time or attention that I need or that he wants to give (his words, not mine). I just said ok. I'm hurt...I trusted that he knew what he was doing. I feel like I was led on and I'm going to miss talking to him during the day. I'm sad...I really thought he was boyfriend material (despite being married...I know). And, I'm a little pissed. This is something he should have handled beforehand. Why am I the one who has to get punished because he didn't take care of his business? At this point, it's whatever. I hope he gets his life together, but I can't promise I'll still be interested when/if that happens.

Edited, once a again to say...This is also the first time someone has broken up with me. I am just in shock over here.