The Calm After the Storm

If you had asked me last week if I thought Jay and I would stay married, my answer would have been "AW, HELL NAW!" I had gotten to my last straw and if it were not for the fact that I do not work and therefore have no money, I would have divorced him months, if not years, ago. But then, he went to the doctor. I know that I said I was going to wait to tell what the doctor said. Well, he has started telling people so I feel like it's okay to share now. Jay was diagnosed as bipolar. He has bipolar II which is a lesser form of the disorder. People in this category have hypomania instead of the full-blown mania. As I've been researching, I've come to realize that so much of Jay's behavior over the last few years can be explained by this disease. It saddens me that we have lost so much of our lives simply because we did not know. It is also a huge relief. Over the last few years, I have often told friends that Jay is a totally different person, not at all like the man I married. He had turned into a complete asshole. Come to find out, he couldn't help it and, for the most part, didn't even realize he was doing it.

Jay was prescribed Symbyax and when I say the change has been like night and day, I am not exaggerating. The first few days he slept a lot, but when he was awake he was a much calmer Jay. We have not argued and he is now more in-tune with his feelings. He will ask for a moment when he feels like something is going to upset him. I am so proud of him and how he is taking this seriously.

We have been discussing being poly and what that means to both of us. He did ask me to stop seeing other men while we work on us and I have done that. While I do miss Reginald and my Sir, I do not miss them as much as I thought I would. And, that is because I have my old Jay back. Yesterday, we made love and it was the BEST sex I have ever had. It even included oral AND anal, which if you have been reading you know those two things have been a HUGE issue for us.

So, for now, Sunshine is happy and shining.