Sunshine in Need

I must have been putting out some strong vibes today because men kept popping up.

First, I fucked Reginald. Then, I had phone sex with my Sir. I returned home to Jay who apologized for something stupid (on his knees, no less). There was Charles who professed his love and assured me that he wasn't going anywhere. As night fell, I received an email from Ted who wanted to know where I've been hiding. Apparently, he's been missing me. And then there was Nate...

I've never talked about Nate. We met on a message board over the holidays. A group of us would chat for hours at a time, mostly about sex. Our sex chats eventually led to IM/web cam chats and more times than not the web cam shows starred Nate. He'd set a time and all of the women would tune in to see his dick tricks. I swear, he can make it twirl and whirl around. We'd encourage him with our words and be oh-so-satisfied when he would cum for us. That message board is now all but defunct. The holidays ended and everyone slowly returned to the real world. Some have disappeared altogether, but some have remained friends. There have even been quite a few sexual pairings to sprout from our time together. Of all the people, I'd lost touch with, I think I missed Nate the most. He used to call me his 'ride or die' because we clicked from day one. I once told him if we lived in the same city we'd be out chasing women together every weekend. So, it was a very pleasant surprise to see the IM from Nate pop up on my screen. It was an even bigger pleasure to see Nate's dick pop up on my screen. And, never being one to disappoint, I was honored with a private viewing to end my day.

In the words of Ice Cube...It was a Good Day.

The Return of Reginald

I had not seen Reginald in about 3 months so I was looking forward to today. I had been instructed to wear a dress or skirt with heels, no panties, and to arrive at 11 SHARP. I was a little late. As I was driving to his house, I received a text.

Reginald: It's 11:04

Me: I know. I had to stop to change clothes because somebody wanted me to wear a skirt and heels.

Reginald: OK...that shouldn't affect the time...u r not a good sub

I arrived at his house shortly after that. As soon as I walked through the door, he slapped me across the ass for being late. Pretty quickly, I was led to the bedroom. "Get on your knees."

I took his dick in my mouth. The familiar feel was exciting. Oh, how I'd missed him. "I want you to cum." I only need to be told once...done.

He pulled back and went to get a condom. "Bend over and grab your ankles."

He slid his dick into my pussy. I stood a little, bending the top of my body over the bed. "I'm going to fuck you in the ass." OK

Slowly he slid into my ass. "Does that hurt?" No..."Arch your back" Back arched. "Open your legs a little" Open.

Oh, how I've missed being fucked in the ass.

Our morning continued in this manner...bent over, standing up, sitting, lying down. In a number of different positions and places, we got reacquainted. "I would love to have sex with you ever day..."

It wasn't until after that I realized that I hadn't gotten the rough sex I was promised. There was no chocking or restraining, or even demanding tones. I wonder if that was done on purpose so that I'd be more eager to come back. Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. If it was, there was no need. I always want to go back to Reginald.

Texting for Sex

Me: Hey

Reginald: Hey

Me: What r u doing?

Reginald: in (the same city 3 hours away that my Sir was in earlier this week...WTH?)

Me: When will you be back?

Reginald: Sunday

Me: You miss me?

Reginald: Of course

Me: Can I come over next week?

Reginald: Yes...r u allowed?

Me: I haven't asked yet. I miss you. I wanted to make sure you still wanted me first.

Reginald: Oh ok...u r wanted.

That was our text message from earlier tonight. I miss Reginald. I miss the simplicity of our meetings. I need to be fucked...choked...spanked. I need to swallow some cum, get dressed and take my ass home...no chit chat, no cuddling, just fuck and go. There is something to be said for mindless sex. Monday can't come soon enough.

The Call

My Sir called me this morning. We have been emailing, texting, and IMing for almost 4 months now. One of the very first things he told me was, "The first thing a submissive must learn is patience." Every time I have mentioned that I would like to hear his voice, he has replied by saying something like, "It's not time yet. When the time is right you will hear me." This week, he was 3 hours away from me, but his schedule was so packed that he did not get an opportunity to drive down to see me. He's back home now. When I awoke this morning, I sent my usual text.

Me: Good morning Sir

my Sir: Good morning baby...how are you? (The city he visited) was great and I meant to surprise you with a call but we stayed busy...

Me: I'm glad you enjoyed it. A call would have been a great surprise. Are you back home now?

my Sir: Yes I am. When you have a quiet moment, let me know.

Me: Now...everyone's still sleep.

And, then it happened...the phone rang. My Sir was calling me. I was excited and nervous all at the same time. I had been waiting for this moment for so long and now it was here. And, it was so wonderful. We talked just like we text. It was so natural. The excitement never left though. When I told him that I was excited, his response was to say that told him how wet I was. I let him know that I was wet from the moment I answered the phone. His voice is deep, like I expected. He asked why I thought it would be deep. I told him it had to be deep so that he could command all the women. He just laughed and said that a deep voice is not necessary. I asked if he could imagine women following around someone with Michael Jackson's voice. He laughed. I think he got my point.

I finally time to go wake the kids. He told me to go on and take care of the kids, that I could call him later. I can call him later? Really? It honestly never occurred to me that this would not be just a one-time thing. I never thought that I would be allowed to call him back. I was shocked. I made him repeat it.

I am such a happy woman right now. Jay's in a good mood, Charles's wife has stopped harassing me and (according to him) finally heard what he's been trying to say, and my Sir called me.

Now, I am off to enjoy the nice, warm weather and bask in my happiness.

HNT - I Wanna Ta Ta You Baby

My cellphone takes awful pictures. It doesn't have a flash so unless I am outside the pictures come out REALLY dark. Normally that's a pain, but for today's purposes it works. As I laid in Charles's arms last week, knowing that what we'd just done was so wrong, I felt so right. So right that I wanted a picture to remember the moment. Unfortunately, I had left my camera in the car (for the second time that day). So, I whipped out my phone and snapped a few shots of 'My Baby' and here he is.

I wanted to add this video, but the embedding feature was disabled by the poster, so you'll have to visit YouTube to see it...sorry.

I had this set to auto post before all the drama this week. I debated whether to let it go on and post or to put something else (or even nothing) up instead. I decided to let it stay as is.

Sad

The title says it all. Charles and I were IMing in Yahoo when he got ready to leave work.

Charles: I'm getting ready to leave. She's (the wife) calling me. I'll let you know where I'm staying.

Me: Call me

Charles: I will

Well, it's almost 10, so I think that I can safely assume that Charles went home. And, I'm sad about that. Last week, he told me that he loves me and that he wanted to spend the next 50 years with me. As crazy as that sounds, considering that I'm married, I planned on doing it. I planned on being there for Charles as much as I could for as long as I he allowed. When I told him how I felt about him, I meant it. When it comes to emotions I don't give myself easily. I love him and I want to be able to talk to him, to see him, to hold him, to make love to him. But, I know I can't...he's there and I'm here...and that makes me sad.

Fear of the Unknown

When Jay and I were going through our issues, there were dozens of times that I thought about leaving...even packed my bag (or had him pack his). But, it never lasted more than a day because I was terrified of what the next step would be. We were going through some things, we were arguing a lot, but in my heart I knew I loved my husband and I liked my life. My kids were happy. I was happy being a stay-at-home mom. If I left, I would have to go back to work. My degree is not in something that I care to go back to doing full-time so that was not a pleasurable thought. My kids are currently homeschooled so that would mean putting them back in public school, also not a pleasant idea. I felt the grass would most likely be brown on the other side. So, in the end, I stayed. Looking back, I'm glad that I did. As you know, it turned out that Jay was not totally responsible for his actions. It hasn't been an easy road since his diagnosis, but it is getting a lot better. So, much better that when I told him about Charles's wife knowing about me, he just said, "Okay. Is this going to be an issue?" After I answered no, that was it.

From the first paragraph, you may assume that this blog entry is about me...it's not. It's about Charles. Since his wife was unable to reach me by phone yesterday, she resorted to texting me. I won't get into what her texts said, but basically she wanted me to provide an "explanation". I simply replied and told her that whatever issues they have are between them and there is nothing that she and I need to discuss. She eventually got the message (I think) and after about 3 or 4 text, she gave up. Later when I talked to Charles, I asked him where he stayed last night. He had packed a bag before leaving home yesterday and was supposed to be staying at a hotel. Well, apparently, his wife called last night and said that her car was acting up, her cell phone was dead (probably from trying to call me all day) and she wasn't sure if she was going to make it home. So, he met her and followed her home. Because it was so late, he stayed. Can you say ploy?

Anyway, today, he said the same thing...he wasn't going back home. I didn't believe him. I didn't tell him that, but what I did tell him was that I think he doesn't want to leave. He admitted that doesn't want to leave his kids. But, I told him that I think it's deeper than that. I think that he has a fear of the unknown. As awful as it may be, he knows what his life will be like from day to day at home, but he has no idea what it would be like if he left. I completely understand that feeling. Unfortunately, that means that he will probably stay in a situation that makes him unhappy. Last week, when we were lying in bed, he asked me what he could give me. I told him that I didn't want him to give me anything. I wanted him to do something for me...I want him to be happy. I meant that.

Whether Charles stays or leaves, I want him to be happy. The one thing I do know is if he stays, our relationship has no choice but to change. Before, we were talking and texing daily. We saw each other, but his wife didn't know. Now, we would be trying to see each other/talk to each other/text each other knowing that his wife knows about our relationship and does not want it to continue. We would still have to hide and sneak like before (hopefully better), but it would be so much harder. She will constantly be snooping, looking for signs of his infidelity. That's no way to live. I love Charles, but I could not knowingly put him in that type of position. As painful as it would be, I would have to let him go.