Submissive - Who Me?

As you can tell from my last post, I'm exploring my submissive side. My new friend, the Dom, suggested that I read The Story of O. He also sent me links to a couple of websites. I immediately started reading the websites and picked up the book the next day. It didn't take long for me to realize that I am submissive and always have been.

Wait...this requires a little back story.

My husband knows about Reginald. He has known about him from Day One, a little over a year ago when we ran into each other and were texting just to catch up on old times. In the last year, Hubby has constantly flipped-flopped over me seeing Reginald. He has gone from no face-to-face contact, to anything except intercourse, to intercourse is okay, to no contact whatsoever, to we're open so do what you want. Confusing, right? Well, imagine what it's like for me!

The current situation is that we are open so technically I can see anyone I want. The problem, however, lies in that Hubby REALLY dislikes Reginald. I came to realize this a little while ago, but never could figure out why (and Hubby couldn't explain it either). Recently though, Hubby said it was because he seems to have some kind of hold on me, that I can't give him up. This is true, but like Hubby, I didn't really understand why.

OK, fast forward to now...
Reginald and I have a D/s relationship and I thrive on that. I used to have that type of relationship with Hubby, but somewhere along the way we lost it. He became indecisive and unsure, not good qualities in the dominant person. Reginald just happened to come along at the right time with the right amount of restrictions. I'm eager to please him...to not overstep my boundaries. Sex, even anal, feels natural and passionate because of the mental foreplay we have done beforehand. I never stay at Reginald's after we have sex. I have never seen his bedroom. We always have sex in the den or one of the extra bedrooms or outdoors on the deck. I love taking direction from him. Hearing the pleasure in his voice when I do as I'm told. Anything he asks (like his recent request to tie me up), I agree to without hesitation because I want to bring him joy.

He sent me a text this morning inquiring about my Christmas. After we had finished the pleasantries, I told him that I think we have a D/s relationship. He was shocked. I went on to explain why I thought so. Of course, he had never looked at it that way. But, it is what it is.

The dilemma lies with Hubby now. I would love for him to be the dominant man that he was in the past. He says that he is willing to try, so we'll see. For now, Reginald is that person. He give me what I need to be happy. He allows me to please him and rewards me with his satisfaction. I thrive on that and cannot give that up....not yet anyway.

I am a submissive...I always have been and I am sure that I always will be.

Cyber Dominance

Erotica Comments

I consider myself to be fairly submissive so I'm not sure why what happened surprises me, but it does.

A few weeks ago, I met a man online - nice enough guy. We exchanged emails and pics - nothing special. Recently, I came across a post he'd written on a message board I frequent. He was answering a question about dominant/submissive relationships...who knew about them, who was in one, etc. Come to find out, he's a Dom. Now, I already knew he was a singer and kinda figured he practiced polyamory, but the D/s thing was unexpected. Intrigued (and a little turned on), I had to reply. He had given a general explanation about the lifestyle, so I asked for some specifics. The banter went back and forth for a few posts until I mentioned something about me being married. He responded by saying that I would not be his first married submissive. Ummmm, ok.

My plan was to drop it right there, but I found myself deeply aroused at all the possibilities. So, I replied once again. This time to inquire if he had ever had a long distance sub. I was expecting his answer to be no. It wasn't. His response was that he had. I squirmed in my seat, heat rising from between my legs. I let him know that I was getting all tingly. "As it should be" was all he said.

I couldn't take it anymore. I started searching through my past emails looking for the pictures he'd sent me the night we met online. I sent an email telling him that he had me so hot that I was searching for the pics. He wrote back - "Ask for more...you know the drill...on your knees."

By this time, my pussy was throbbing...so, I asked for more. To which he simply said, "Good girl."

Now, I am a sucker for praise, so this just sent me right over the edge. I came...just a little, and of course, I had to let him know. I had to tell him what he'd made me do. He wasn't pleased. He declared, "I don't do little. Go rub your pussy properly."

Off to my bedroom I went. Lying across the bed, I put my hand inside my panties and stroked my clit. I slid my fingers inside my now dripping wet pussy. Gliding my fingers in and out, thumb on my clit, I made long smooth strokes until I came...juices dripping down my fingers.

I logged back on and let him know that I had done as I was told.

"Now go write about it online" was all I got back.

So, being the good girl that I am, I did just that.

I Want a Webcam

I recently joined an invite-only online group. It is for like-minded adults. It's nice to have somewhere to talk to people who think like I do...who do not pass judgment. There is just one problem though. Joining this group has opened up a whole new sex venue to me...webcams. Now, don't get me wrong, I knew about webcams. I've seen the porn sites that offer webcam viewing, but I've never really been interested. However, viewing someone who you "know"...that you've chatted with and emailed.. is a totally different thing. HOT!!! That's the word that instantly comes to mind.

So, now, I want a webcam. I want to put on my own show. The exhibitionist in me has been unleashed. Since it's after Christmas, I can't put it on my Christmas list, but it is definitely on the top of my To Buy in '09 list.

And, don't worry...I will be sure to share the details of those adventures with you as well.

Cold

It's cold and rainy outside. And I have a cold, so I'm inside. I'm all stuffy and blah.

Anybody wanna bring some chicken soup over?

Hopefully, I'll feel better tomorrow. Every year, I buy something to wear on Christmas Eve. Needless to say, by the time the toys have all been put out, Santa is a happy man.

So, you see I've got to get well. Can't disappoint Santa.

In case, I don't make it back before the 25th...

MERRY CHRISTMAS

HNT - Merry Christmas Baby

All wrapped up and tied with a bow.

I wasn't able to get a pic done in time to make it on

Merry Christmas and Happy HNT!!!

TMI Tuesday

1. What is the greatest age difference between between and a SO? Older or younger?
with a SO, only 2 years

2. What is the greatest age difference between between and any sexual partner? Older or younger?
18 years - I was 18. He was 36.

3. Have you started your holiday shopping? Is it done?
Yes and yes, unless I come across something that I think someone would really love.

4. What are the chances there will be a "naughty" present under the tree this year (either from you or for you)?
No naughty presents, but every year I buy "Mrs. Claus" lingerie that I put on on Christmas Eve after the kids have gone to sleep. Then, I seductively entice Santa while we put out the toys.

5. What is your favorite holiday song?
Santa Baby, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, and Another Lonely Christmas

Bonus (as in optional):Do you have a preferred time of day to have sex? If so, why?
I don't really have a preference. I'm game whenever.

Just a Phase?

Apparently, Jay agreed to opening the marriage because he thought I was going through a phase. He figured that I'd see a man or two and then things would go back to "normal"...just me and him. I'm not really sure where he got that idea because I definitely did not tell him that.

I'm not sure where this is headed. He's obviously not happy with the arrangement and has stated that he cannot have an open marriage on a long-term basis. Personally, I think that is very unfair. It's like dangling a carrot in front of a horse. I've been given a dose of freedom only to have it taken back. Not to mention, Jay doesn't do everything I like sexually.

The good news is that nothing has changed for now. Maybe he'll even change his mind.

Confession

I love to suck Reginald's dick. I have never been one for swallowing (can't stand the taste), but with him I do. His sperm doesn't taste like anything and he lets me be in control. As he's about to cum, I take him all the way to the back of my throat. When I know that he has released all of his juices, I start sucking again...making long, forceful, hungry strokes. I used to stop right after he came, but for his birthday I gave him the blow job of his life. After he came, I kept sucking until he couldn't stand it anymore and had to push me away. He loved it! So, now I try to throw in a birthday blow job every now and then to remind him of why he likes me so much.

As a result, I have come to think of him whenever a particular song comes on. A few months ago, I asked him if he still listens to rap. When he said yes, I told him that every time I hear Lollipop by Lil Wayne, I think of him. He asked why and I told him he was "like a lollipop" and I love licking him and he always makes me juicy.

On a side note, way back in college I was once voted as having the best dick-sucking lips by a bunch of guys whose dicks I'd never sucked....LOL! What do you think?

HNT - The Girls Say Hi

Today's HNT pic requires a back story.

My FWB, Reginald is an old junior high/high school friend. We reconnected last year and, in addition to massive amounts of texting, I would frequently send him naughty pics. Well, this has been the norm for over a year now. When the mood strikes, I whip out my phone and snap a quick pic to send to Reginald. Until recently...

As I've said, my mojo has been all out of whack. Added to that, I recently got a new cell phone. I REALLY like my phone. I would LOVE my phone if the camera on it had a flash. Let me explain...my phone has ALL the bells and whistles I could ever ask for and then some. The one thing it doesn't have? A FREAKIN' FLASH!!! (What dimwit forgot that?) So, needless to say, my pics come out dark unless I'm outside or somewhere with A LOT of light. Now, I'm all for getting naked outdoors or in the car, but that's not always possible since I usually have kids with me. Thus, I have not been taking or sending very many pics.

Anyway, today Reginald sent me a text asking if I was on a pic strike. I had to laugh because it had just occurred to me last night that it's been a while since I've sent him a pic. I explained that Jay is home more now so whipping out the digital camera to take pics for another man would not go over well regardless of how open we may be. I also explained my no-flash-on-the-camera-phone dilemma. I have to admit though that I miss sending him pics. It is as much of a turn-on for me as it is for him. I always imagine him getting them while in a meeting or conference and struggling to hide his reaction.

So, I set out immediately to rectify this issue. I snuck in the bathroom, pulled up my shirt and my bra and snapped a pic of "the girls". I sent it to Reginald along with a message that said, "The girls say hi."

And now, to you dear reader....The Girls say "Hi".

Happy Everyone!

Be sure to check everyone else out and look for me on as well.

I'm Making a Comeback

I'm feeling frisky!!!

You can not imagine how much of a relief that is.

Jay and I had sex Monday night and I've been horny ever since. I had planned to stop by and see Reginald today. I went to yoga class today which somehow always reminds me of him, but he has never seen me in my yoga pants. So, I was looking forward to showing off my assets. Unfortunately, he's out of town. I sent him a text and he's asked that I please come by and show him next week.

That has definitely been added to my to-do list.

OK...It's Official

I HAVE LOST MY MOJO!!!

and I want it back.

There really is nothing else to say.

No Interest in Sex

I have been decidedly unsexy lately. I've been spending the last couple of weeks trying to ease Jay's fears about having an open marriage. Because of this, I've seriously curtailed any outside activity. At the same time, all of this talking has left me drained and uninterested in sex in general, even with Jay. I did have one spark the day after Thanksgiving. I had a major urge to fuck Reginald. I chocked this up to him being my stress reliever. Our sex is so passionate and primal that I am exhausted afterwards, whether it's a 5 minute quickie or a 2 -hour multi-orgasmic (for both of us) session. Unfortunately, he was away visiting family.

Jay and I did have sex. It was sensual and quiet (kids were home and awake). It was what I call "I Love You" sex - you know the sex you see in romantic movies. It was nice - nothing to complain about. I came and he came, but a few minutes afterwards I was ready to go again. I told Jay, but it didn't happen. Honestly, what I needed was to fuck Reginald, then come home and make love to Jay. Once is never enough and Jay is just not able to oblige. I love that man, but I need more.

Reginald did send me a text Friday asking how Thanksgiving went. Of course, I mentioned that I was horny. He said if he were home he'd help with my horniness. He'll be back tomorrow. Hopefully, I'll get a chance to go by and see him. Maybe I'll get my mojo back.