It's Been A Long Time

I know it's been a long time since I've written. I've had the flu, followed by complications from the flu. Hubby and I had a falling out. We are now in counseling trying to save our marriage. Hubby picked the counselor because he works on a sliding scale. The only problem is that it's a Christian counselor. Nothing against him personally. He seems like a really great guy and I'm sure he's a great counselor. I'm just not sure he's right for us. But then, maybe he's right for Hubby. I asked him yesterday if he wants to be monogamous or poly. He didn't think it mattered. I, on the other hand, think it's a very important question. Not only does our approach to counseling become different depending on the answer, whether I even want to pursue reconciliation may change depending on the answer. He finally came back and one again said that he could be in a poly relationship but only with a woman, never with another man. He has no desire to be friends or even know about any man that I am sleeping with. He wants me to cut off contact with Reginald and my Sir while we're trying to work things out. While that may make sense if we're going to be monogamous, I think that it makes no sense at all if we're going to be poly. I think that we need to work on his feelings toward having other people in our lives because I don't think that it is simply other men. He has issues with me chatting with other women, even platonically. I think that if I met a woman, in real life or online, and started a relationship, he would still have an issue because I'm talking to someone other than him. In all honest though, Hubby and I don't talk. We don't see eye to eye on most things.

He considers Reginald to be an affair (even though he okayed the relationship every step of the way) because I enjoy things with him that I don't enjoy with Hubby. He considers my Sir to be an emotional affair (even though he said I could talk to him) because I talk to him about my feelings. He wants to compare them to "the girlfriend"....the lady we had the relationship with at the end of '07. I consider his relationship with her to have started as an affair. I didn't know it at the time, but they had apparently talked and shared quite a bit before I knew about her and said it was okay to date her. It wasn't until she and I started talking and the three of us started hanging out that I learned about these things. We have always had a rule that he will tell me when he is talking to or spending time with a woman (even platonically). He didn't do that with her. For me, that's a betrayal. I never would have encouraged him to date her had I known the background story.

Anyway, I will stop here for now. I promise to be present more. I'm not sure which way this blog will go now that I'm not seeing other men. We'll just have to wait and see. I will say this...in the middle of the flu, Hubby tied me up and the other night we made love (not fucked) and it was great. I will fill you in on both of those events soon.

For those of you on the East coast, I hope that you are enjoying the snow and that it's not causing too many issues for you.